I Gained 2 Angels

"Never think you lost...you gained an angel!"

Hey Butterflies!  Long time right?!?  I really needed to post this blog.  I'm sorry for being away so long...time goes by so fast now.  I'm happy to report that I am well and getting back on track one day at a time and pray music will be the subject more soon.  I hope you all understand, thank you for your patience.  I can not say what I am planning until I have everything set in stone but I wanted to share something very special with you all.

I have been posting on social media in my absence here...too convenient to say the least but I know my true fans want an update so I decided a blog would be best to share this intimate moment.

I am surviving here in Arkansas.  It's been an up and down battle trying to fit in but I know in my heart I can not stay.  My husband knows this.  I came to support him and now that things have changed again I know it's time to make things right!  We are making plans for our forever home.  After that… NO MORE MOVING!  He says I deserve to place of peace……a forever home…O YES!    If we do travel to more places and find ourselves there more the half a year we will buy more homes but we know where our REAL home is!  We may even keep our home here when we move who knows.

So what I want to share is that I had no idea I would ever get married but I have always LOVED kids.  We have been trying of course but nothing yet.  We had two miscarriages.  With that… and the  moving, and trying to fit in a new town I suffered from depression and anxiety.  I just clocked out after that.  No motivation, no energy and no appetite.  My family had no idea what to do and I didn't want to burden them with my problems so I came off as distant.  It has truly been rough!  To go in detail would be a book.

The reason I'm sharing now...I think God wants me to.  I got a message today that blew my mind.  You guys know I love to cook so whenever I get an opportunity especially if I can get paid too, I jump at it.  I picked up some extra work cooking with everything else going on at the hospital here...no culinary license.  That's right.  Just from experience and reputation.  It is so amazing!  I am not sure if culinary school should be on the list yet but it wouldn't hurt right.?.  With all that said I am going through orientation and here is the story that hit home in my personal life about the baby situation...

"In orientation today they talked about a few things that came off as weird to me at first but as the story went on became clear and comforting.  The heart transplant department holds an event for the recipient and donor's family.   They record the sound of the heart as a gift to the donor's family to share how important their lost loved one gave someone another chance.   In the women's center they create silhouettes of a lost baby or child and crop it in the family picture.  I miscarried twice but we are still hopeful.  As the speaker said... "No matter if you lose the baby God just took them back for now.  Never think you lost. ..you gained an angel!"

I can feel that...it feels good thinking about it that way.  I am not a loser.  I did not fail.  It was not our fault.  It just wasn't time but yes!  We gained angels!  Miss you guys.  Please pray for me!

My 2 Angels






























TaNeal ƸӜƷ

Farewell Georgia, hello Arkansas...?

"Life just got real!"


Hey Butterflies!  Wow it's been forever.  I do not know where to begin.  I have some things to share with you so I'll just start there.


It's been a long year with marriage, teenager and now we have a dog.  There is just not enough time in the day.  That's why I'm a Mombie (Zombie) right now typing in the middle of the night.


We recently found out that we are being transferred for work.  The following weeks after that, I drove after work 7.5 hours two weekends in a row to go house hunting.  Last Friday the house went on the market and now we just signed a contract.  Man this is so fast, just crazy but I must say I'm very grateful.  This week went long with all the showings and pop ups and people pulling out the driveway when I pull up after work.  Lord what a mess!


I was already having all kinds of emotions dealing with everything else, then this.  I finally had to put my big girl drawls on, face the music and embrace the blessings!


I'm looking forward to getting settled, there is still so much to do.  I have been sticking to this "To Do" list after making more short term goals instead of sitting on hope and procrastination with the big goals.  Sometimes you have to make ramen noodles instead of planning some big fantastic meal.  Just eat and re-energize.  Too much thinking can be draining.  A whole week can go by before you realize that you did nothing at all but hope.  Hope is great but action put things where they should be so you can move forward.  It's not going to get done just sitting around thinking and hoping.


I'm no expert but here are 5 things that could help you adapt to change:


BE PREPARED:  When you experience change, sometimes denial can come.  You have to embrace the change like a milestone.  It's going to happen one way or the other.  Change may come with surprises, so be prepared on how you will handle it when it comes not reacting too quickly.


- BE PATIENT:  Things may seem great one minute and then stop.  You will feel like you are facing a brick wall but it's not that serious.  Take 2 steps over and see the opening.  I'm still learning how important patience is especially knowing my anxiety is a serious hazard to my health.  Stop!  Count to ten slowly then continue.


BE CONSISTENT:  Being consistent is very important, especially if you are experiencing change with other people (Husband, Family, Friend etc).  Being all over the place will not only frustrate you but can be difficult for others to understand.  Being consistent also make things move along smoother.  You know what needs to be done and what you can do to get it done so trying to do other stuff that can be done later in the middle of what's going on now will be messy!  Emotionally and Physically!

BE MINDFUL:  When making decisions especially when you have a family is a slow planning process.  You have to weigh options and research.  Before taking action, think about possible outcomes and how it could affect your unit.

BE YOU:  Through all this, that's all you can be.  It is important to have a foundation (your soul), keep a positive environment (your character) and peace of mind (your sanity).  There is no time to think what someone else will think.  You are living your life the way you prayed to live it, worked hard to live it and survived life obstacles to live it.  Others who sit around giving their opinions or watching you all the time obviously have nothing else better to do then to see you fail.  Don't fall for that mask with the sweaty face under it.  Yes, your success will make them sweat!


----------------  I'm not sure what God has in store for tomorrow but today I feel truly blessed.  We should not be afraid to show how proud we are when we conquered a challenge life throws at us.  That is what real is to me.


Thank you guys for stopping by and reading my blog, feel free to share, send your prays and wish us the best.  I'll write you soon.


Peace and Blessings



TaNeal ƸӜƷ

DIY, Why Not?

"If you get the chance to be reborn with all the experience and knowledge you gathered up to this point in your life, what would you do first?"


Hey Butterflies!  Answer this question for me because I feel my second chance has finally come.  I have no idea what I would do first.  I'm sure I would be in the exact same place I'm in now.  I want to do everything and it's driving me nuts.  I had to realize that if you do not write down a goal and hang it somewhere for you to see everyday and contribute some time to that goal as much as possible you will NOT accomplish that goal.  I got tired of being all over the place and I'm just as tired about all the hard work that's put into one goal all together.  I use to be super-charged and hungry at one point and now...I'm trying to define where I am in life right now.  I pray...YES I pray.  I do a lot but I'm ready to do something that shows how hard I work.  I'm on the road every day of the week.  For work, doing the Mom thing and now the Wife thing.  I'm not saying I'm overwhelmed but no one ever told me I'd be so EXHAUSTED!  


Having a cheerleader is the best thing ever but I think it adds to the fire of "showing" or "doing" and not saying.  Doing things on your own takes a LOOONG time.  If being reborn means that I can gain 10 years than I can breathe a lil.  But since I have not received my time machine in the mail yet, I wanted to write this blog to tell you I'm still here, still working on my music along with everything else but I want that hunger back to speed things up.  Those nights when I wrote and recorded a song in one night, those amateur videos I recorded, edited and published on my youtube, the events I produced and successfully executed, the new connections I made with just a click of the finger or a phone call.  ALL THAT I did while holding down 2 jobs in school and raising a child.  Where is THAT TaNeal?  I want her back so bad I'm itching.  That woman was fierce and carried on without acknowledgement or reward.  I got cross-eyed when I saw that I had over 50 sites I managed throughout my career and that's not counting the others listed in my music bible.


So where do I start?  I start here!  No more instant rants on social media, this is where I start.  With you!  I will be sending out an email to everyone of you who have purchased a cd, emailed me directly or inboxed me your email.  That's right!  The moment of truth.  Once you get this email...please kindly respond "unsubscribe" if you don't want my emails so I'm not spamming anyone.  It's time to face my rebirth and embrace my future!


Peace and Blessings


TaNeal ƸӜƷ

Saint Simon's Isle

"I love this place, lets get married here!"


- And so we did!  Hey Butterflies.  I have planned and produced many events and this one is by far the best one!  Yes the day finally came.  Your girl is married.  I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to know someone loves you so much.  I thought I knew what love was, trying to put it all in a one line definition.  There are many versions of it.  Like the love I have for you guys and all the years of support and uplift you have given me.  And sometimes, it can't be defined but pictures say it all so take a trip with me in my new found love for partnership.


The Rings


---------------------------------------The King and Prince Hotel------------St. Simon's Island Wedding Decor--------------------------


What a lovely scene it was!  Our wedding planners Hummingbird City did more than I expected.  Their vision for the perfect beach wedding merged with mine and how did I meet them?  The way that we met...the internet :)




--------------------------------The Flower Girl-----------------------------------------


This is my Ladybug :)  I made her dress, do you like?  Bigups to this girl, she was so patient with me and helpful throughout all this.  I can't remember how many times I asked her to try on the dress.  I just wanted to get it right.


Flower Girl


Flower Girl 2


------------------------------------Here Comes The Bride-----------------------------


Here I come.  I wanted to run down!  But why I wore my Michael Khors in sand I have no idea...but I was going to get there one way or the other :)




-------------------------------The Ceremony-------------------------------------------


Dr. Howard Pendley, our Officiant had such a great personality.  So glad I found him and that he was a part of our big day!


Ceremony 1


Ceremony 2



-----------------------------THE KISS!-----------------------------------------


My Shakespeare laid a good one on me.  One of those...you're mine now kisses  :)


The Kiss



------------------------The Witness----------------------------------


Having a destination wedding, you are not sure if family will be able to join you.  I'm grateful that my family gave me their blessing.  Now as we were setting up, people asked who was getting married.  You know how I do.  I said "Me!  Come join us at 11 o'clock!"  I wasn't expecting anyone to take me up on my offer but Meet Asst. Pastor Mary Jackson from Chicago!  She showed up with bells on and caught the bouquet :)  She said her family was asking why she crashed our wedding, she said she woke up that morning with a feeling she would meet someone and she met 3 :)


The Witness


------------------The Cake----------------------------------------------------


Don't you just love the cake and the topper?  I ordered the topper from Amazon.  I just love it so much.  The detail on this porcelain is amazing!


 The Cake


----------------------We Are Family----------------------------------------------------


Here we are...The Londons :)


First...The Face  LOL!


The Face


My Beautiful Family


The Londons







Thank you for stopping by and sharing this moment with us!


Peace and Blessings


TaNeal ƸӜƷ


------Want to plan a destination wedding to Saint Simon's Island?  Contact Hummingbird City and tell them TaNeal sent you.  They will make your day beautiful!


Hummingbird City


Testing 1, 2, 3

"Butterflies!  Fly fly far away.  If they want you to stay...stay a bit then again fly away!"


Hey now!  So the last post was about me NOT complaining or feeling sorry for myself.  I know what the problem is.  It's time to get back out and say "Hey, What's up?"  to some folks.  They are still working, writing, building, producing, mixing, mastering, networking/netweaving.  I was surviving.  To them...they probably forgot about me.  It's not personal.  For me...I'm working on taking my #Songwriting to the next level so personal is not the object here, it's hitting them with hits and I'm on it!    No time is better than now to let them know that I'm still standing.  I'm getting better from bed rest.  ok I said it.  Yes bed rest!  The worst vacation ever.  Memories are my uplift:

#NYC #subway... reminding myself of this moment...when do I get up and start singing. ..you scuured!  random #applause unrecorded   #performance of the last part of "A House Is Not A Home" song by the beloved #LutherVandross.  I didn't just sing, I held some hands and got folks to sing with me.  The best moment ever!  I was scared when I finished but this train could care less about my fears, they acknowledged the performance.  Shame on me for not having a top hat or folded top paper bag to collect some support.  I picked up what I could from the floor, thanked them and got off at the next stop.  NYC loves real people.  Look them in the eye, demand their attention and leave with hugs!  I want to go back sooo bad! #LIvingTheLIfe


TaNeal ƸӜƷ


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